Expressions For a Woman's High Stress Days

• You! Off my planet!!
• Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
• Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
• Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
• And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

• I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
• Allow me to introduce my selves.
• Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
• Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
• Do they ever shut up on your planet?

• I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
• I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
• I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
• How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
• I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

• You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
• Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
• Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
• Chaos, panic & disorder - my work here is done.
• Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the Earth.

• Earth is full. Go home.
• Is it time for your medication or mine?
• Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
• How do I set a laser printer to stun?
• I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

• When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
• So many men, so few who can afford me.
• God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends.
• If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going.
• At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all... I just can't remember it all.

• My Mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
• Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.
• Coffee, chocolate, men . . . Some things are just better rich.
• Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.
• If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

• Dinner Is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
• It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
• I'm out of estrogen-and I have a gun.
• Guys have feelings too. But like...who cares?
• Next mood swing: 6 minutes.

• I hate everybody...and you're next.
• And your point is...?
• I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
• Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
• Of course I don't look busy...I did it right the first time.

• Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
• You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
• All stressed out and no one to choke.
• I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
• How can I miss you if you won't go away?

• Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.
• If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.
• Don't upset me! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

If this isn't enough for you, then see Snappy Comebacks, Comebacks and the useful Friendship Poem.