Fun Signs

See also Strange Signs Found in England and The Butchery of English.

At a radiator shop (A-1 Radiator):
"Best Place in Town to take a Leak"

Sign over a gynecologist's office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

On a Plumbers truck:
"We repair what your husband tried to fix."

On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

Pizza shop slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."

At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout"

Door of a plastic surgeon's office:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose or would you rather do it"

At a laundry shop:
"How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"

At a towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an electrician's truck
"Let us remove your shorts."

In a nonsmoking area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a maternity room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

At an optometrist's office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."

In a podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

On a fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

At a car dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."

Outside a muffler shop:
"No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."

In a veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

Veterinary's office:
"All unattended children will be given a free kitten"

At the electric company:
"We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

Inside a Bowling Alley:
"Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."

Sign at the psychic's Hotline:
"Don't call us, we'll call you."

Billboard on the side of the road:
"Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."

In a counselors office:
"Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional."

In a restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."