Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: they take the psycho path.
Q: Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
A: He's all right now.
Q: What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
Q: What do eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A: a stick.
Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A: nacho cheese.
Q: What do you call santa's helpers?
A: subordinate clauses.
Q: What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
A: quatro sinko.
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: spoiled milk.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
A: A pachydermatologist
Q: What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A: A pool table.
Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: a nervous wreck.
Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A: anyone can roast beef.
Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A: right where you left him.
Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: because they have big fingers.
Q: How do you get holy water?
A: you boil the hell out of it.
Q: Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
A: because it scares the heck out of the dog.
Q: What kind of coffee was served on the titanic?
Q: And what kind of lettuce?
Q: What is the difference between a harley and a hoover?
A: the location of the dirt bag.
Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A: They're trying to get away from the noise.
Q: Why does a pilgrim's pants always fall down?
A: because they wear their belt buckles on their hats.
Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: unique up on it.
Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A: tame way, unique up on it.
Q: How are a texas tornado and a tennnessee divorce the same?
A: somebody's gonna lose a trailer.
See also Punny, Punny.