;-)

Parent's Dictionary

AMNESIA:
condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

DUMBWAITER:
one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FAMILY PLANNING:
the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

FEEDBACK:
the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

FULL NAME:
what you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS:
the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY:
what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

IMPREGNABLE:
a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT:
how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

OW:
the first word spoken by children with older siblings.

PRENATAL:
when your life was still somewhat your own.

PUDDLE:
a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

SHOW OFF:
a child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE:
what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

TOP BUNK:
where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

TWO-MINUTE WARNING:
when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL:
able to whine in words

WHODUNIT:
none of the kids that live in your house