Things Adults Learn From Kids
- There is no such thing as child-proofing your house
- If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite
- A 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant
- If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a
superman cape
- It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room
- Baseballs make marks on ceilings
- You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on
- When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit
- A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
- The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan
- When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;" it's already too late
- Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it
- A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36
year old man says they can only do it in the movies
- A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day
- If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it
does not leak - it explodes
- A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep
- Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old
- Duplos will not
- Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence
- Super glue is forever
- McGyver can teach us many things we don't want kids to know
- Ditto Tarzan
- No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water
- Pool filters do not like Jello
- VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do
- Garbage bags do not make good parachutes
- Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving
- You probably do not want to know what that odor is
- Always look in the oven before you turn it on
- Plastic toys do not like ovens
- The fire department in Seattle has at least a 5 minute response time
- The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy
- It will however make cats dizzy
- Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy
- Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry
- A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life
(unfortunately, mostly in retrospect)