Dogs and Lightbulbs
How Many Dogs Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?
- Golden Retriever: The sun is shining. The day is young. We've got our
whole lives ahead of us. And you're inside worrying about a stupid,
burned-out light bulb?
- Border Collie: Just one. Not only that, but I'll replace any wiring
that's not up to code.
- Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
- Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it.
By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
- Rottweiler: Make me!
- Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants...
- Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can
I? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
- German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these
people from the dark, checked to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one
more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
- Malamute: Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
- Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
- Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear
and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
- Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
- Doberman Pinscher: Make me.
- Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark...
- Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
- Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz... z...z... z....z.... z....z...
- Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
- Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got a hangover.
- Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there...
- Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
- Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
- Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?
Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real
question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some
dinner, and a massage?
All of which proves, once again, that while dogs have masters, cats have