Misc Gender Differences

There are two kinds of people in the world:
Those who need closure. -- Mark Schmidt

Woman's Work

Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed." She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches, rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning. She then put some wet clothes into the dryer, put a load of clothes into the wash, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the newspapers strewn on the floor, picked up the game pieces left on the table and put the telephone book back into the drawer. She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a textbook out from hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse. Mom then creamed her face, put on moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and trimmed her nails. Hubby called, "I thought you were going to bed." "I'm on my way," she said. She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked. She looked in on each of the kids and turned out a bedside lamp, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks in the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework. In her own room, she set the alarm, laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her list of things to do for tomorrow.

About that time, the hubby turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular "I'm going to bed," and he did.

(there are several morals you can get from this, pick your favorite...)

Instructive Quotes...

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base. --Dave Barry

He (the husband) was trying to help... (with the kids), but... well, you know... --Christina Krol

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

Impressions...

How a Man Can Impress a Woman:

• Compliment her,
• Cuddle her,
• Kiss her,
• Caress her,
• Love her,
• Stroke her,
• Tease her,
• Smile at her,
• Laugh with her,
• Cry with her,
• Comfort her,
• Protect her,
• Hug her,
• Hold her,
• Spend money on her,
• Wine & dine her,
• Buy things for her,
• Write love letters to her,
• Dance with her,
• Listen to her,
• Care for her,
• Stand by her,
• Support her,
• Worship her,
• Go to the ends of the earth and back for her.

How a Woman Can Impress a Man:

• Show Up Naked
• Bring Beer

Haircuts -- The Difference Between Men and Women

Women's version:

Woman2: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!

Woman1: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she was gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Woman2: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.

Woman1: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

Woman2: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.

Woman1: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms - see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

Men's version:

Man2: Haircut?
Man1: Yeah.