Things You'd Rather Not Hear During Surgery

  1. Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
  2. Someone call the janitor--we're going to need a mop.
  3. Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad dog!!
  4. Wait a minute. If this is his spleen, then what's that?
  5. Hand me that...uh...that uh....thingie.

  6. Oh, no. I just lost my Rolex.
  7. Oops. Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
  8. Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Shoot-fire, the guy's got two of 'em.
  9. Everybody stand back--I lost my contact lens.
  10. Could you stop that thing from thumping; it's throwing my concentration off.

  11. I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
  12. That's cool! Now, can you make his leg twitch?!
  13. I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses...
  14. Well, folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
  15. Sterile, schmerile. The floor's clean, right?

  16. What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change...?
  17. And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape.
  18. This patient has already had some kids--right?