Corporate America in the 90's

You know you work in corporate America in the 90's if:

• You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
• Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
• Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
• Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um.
• When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
• You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
• You learn about your layoff on CNN.
• Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.
• Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
• Your space in a cubicle is smaller than your bedroom closet.
• Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.
• You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.
• It's dark when you drive to and from work.
• Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
• Communication is something your group is having problems with.
• You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
• Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
• Non-working weekends are those days your spouse threatens you into staying home.
• Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
• The Arts is using a white/chalk board.
• You're already late on the assignment you just got.
• When 100% of your time means 20 hours a day.
• You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"
• Applicable Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.
• Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes", "in your spare time", "when you're freed up", and "I have an opportunity for you."
• Vacation is something you roll over to next year or get a check for every January.
• Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".
• Change is the norm.
• Nepotism is encouraged.
• The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your cube.
• Women only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
• You read this entire list and fully agreed with it.

See also Signs You've Had Too Much of the 90s (B)...