This is the Unofficial World Wide Activities Thermometer, based on
stereotypes and geographical generalizations by temperature.
- 60 degrees - Californians put their sweaters on.
- 50 degrees - Miami residents turn on the heat.
- 45 degrees - Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.
- 40 degrees - You can see your breath, Californians shiver
uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming.
- 35 degrees - Italians cars don't start.
- 32 degrees - Water freezes.
- 30 degrees - You plan your vacation in Australia.
- 25 degrees - Ohio water freezes, Californians weep pitiably,
Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming.
- 20 degrees - Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York
City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation farther south.
- 15 degrees - French cars don't start, cat insists on sleeping in
your bed with you.
- 10 degrees - You need jumper cables to get the car going.
- 5 degrees - American cars don't start.
- 0 degrees - Alaskans put on T-shirts.
- -10 degrees - German cars don't start, eyes freeze shut when you
- -15 degrees - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo,
Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects, Miami residents cease to exist.
- -20 degrees - Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you,
politicians actually do something about the homeless, Minnesotans shovel
snow off roof, Japanese cars don't start.
- -25 degrees - Too cold to think, you need jumper cables to get the
- -30 degrees - You plan a two week hot bath, Swedish cars don't
- -40 degrees - Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button,
Canadians put on sweater, your car helps you plan your trip South.
- -50 degrees - Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the
- -80 degrees - Polar bears move South, Green Bay Packer (and Buffalo
Bills) fans order hot cocoa at the game.
- -90 degrees - Lawyers and politicians put their hands in their own
- -100 degrees - Hell freezes over, Clinton finally tells the truth.