And Then There Is Golf

• I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced.
• I've spent most of my life golfing. the rest I've just wasted.
• They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken.
• Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
• It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
• Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five
• Give me golf clubs, fresh air & a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
• Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?
• The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
• Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.
• If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
• It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
• Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill-adapted for the purpose.
• Gone golfin' ... be back about dark thirty.
• Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.
• The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
• Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.