A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said "OK,OK. You released me from the lamp, ... blah blah blah.This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly, and I get very seasick.
So could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that. How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific?
Think of how much concrete...how much steel!! No, think of another wish."
The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said I don't care and that I'm insensitive. I wish that I could understand women ... know what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, know why they are crying, know what they want when they say 'nothing'...."
The genie said, "You want that bridge two lanes or four?"
Two men were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the two men came across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the Castaways, one did come forth! This particular Genie, however, stated that she could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Turn the entire ocean into beer!"
Immediately the Genie clapped her hands, and with a deafening crash the entire sea turned to the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished to her freedom. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull of the life boat broke the sudden stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. The other man looked disgustedly at the one who's wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!!