Weird Music Exam Answers
Supposedly-real answers collected from music exams.
- The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called
pre-Madonna.
- It is easy to teach anyone to play the maracas. Just grip the
neck and shake him in rhythm.
- Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same
lines.
- Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.
- All female parts were sung by castrati. We don't know exactly
what they sounded like because there are no known descendants.
- Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze
Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven's Erotica, Tchaikovsky
Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin's Rap City in Blue.
- Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if
they sing without music it is called Acapulco.
- A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.
- Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.
- Diatonic is a low calorie Schweppes.
- Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the
Hatfields and the McCoys.
- A harp is a nude piano.
- The main trouble with a French Horn is that it is too tangled up.
- An interval in music is the distance from one piano to the next.
- The correct way to find the key to a piece of music is to use a
pitchfork.
- Agitato is a state of mind when one's finger slips in the middle
of playing a piece.
- Refrain means don't do it. A refrain in music is the part you'd
better not try to sing.
- Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was written long
ago.
- My favorite composer was Opus.
- Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.
- Henry Purcell was a well-known composer few people have ever
heard of.
- Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano
concertos.