New Survivor Show - Teacher Version

Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show?

Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped in an elementary classroom for 6 weeks. Each business person will be provided with a copy of their school district's curriculum, and a class of 28 students. Each class will have 5 learning-disabled children, 3 with ADHD, 1 gifted child, and 2 who speak limited English. Three will be labeled as severe behavior problems.

Each business person must complete lesson plans at least 3 days in advance with annotations for curriculum objectives and modify, organize or create materials accordingly. They will be required to teach the students, handle misconduct, implement technology, document attendance, write referrals, correct homework, make bulletin boards, compute grades, complete report cards, document benchmarks, communicate with parents, and arrange parent conferences. They must also supervise recess and detention and monitor the hallways and restrooms. In addition they will complete drills for fires, tornadoes, or shooting attacks and assist with fundraisers.

They must attend workshops, weekly faculty meetings, school improvement sessions; and curriculum development meetings. They must also tutor those students who are behind and strive to get their 2 non-English speaking children proficient enough to take the SOL and SAT-9 tests. If they are sick or having a bad day they must not let it show. Each day they must incorporate reading, writing, math, science, and social studies into the program. They must maintain discipline and provide an educationally stimulating environment at all times.

The business people will only have access to the golf course on the weekends after all teaching and preparation tasks are completed, but on their new salary they will not be able to afford it anyway. There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out to lunch, and the lunch hour will be limited to 30 minutes while supervising students.

On days when they do not have recess duty, the business people will be permitted to use the staff restroom during the 15 minutes that another survival candidate is supervising their students. They will also be provided with two 40-minute planning periods per week while their students are having music or art class in the classroom and one 40-minute planning period while their students are having physical education in the gym. If the copier is operable, they may make copies of necessary materials at that time.

The business people must continually advance their education on their own time, preferably during the summer months, and pay for this advanced training themselves. This can be accomplished either by moonlighting at a second job or marrying someone with a lot of money.

The winner will be allowed to return to his or her corporate job.