April 15, 2001
Internal Revenue Service
State Processing Center
Holtsville, NY 01150-0115
Enclosed is my 2001 tax return & payment. Please take note of the attached article from the February 8, 2001 USA Today newspaper which serves as my Year 2000 Tax guide.
In the article, you will see that the Pentagon pays $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.
Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value $1029). This brings my total payment to $3429.00. Please note the overpayment of $22.00 and apply it to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. Might I suggest you the send the above mentioned fund a 1.5 inch screw. (See attached article... HUD paid $22.00 each 1.5 inch Phillips head screw.)
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.