Texas Slang Translation

George W. Bush will be bringing with him many friends from Texas, and for anyone not born in the Lone Star State, the Texan accent and the cowboy colloquialisms can seem a bit strange. Here is a guide to a few of the more colorful expressions they might encounter:

The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving
Not overly-intelligent

As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party

Tighter than bark on a tree
Not very generous

Big hat, no cattle
All talk and no action

We've howdied but we ain't shook yet
We've made a brief acquaintance, but not been formally introduced

He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow
He has a pretty high opinion of himself

She's got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth
That woman can talk

It's so dry the trees are bribin' the dogs
We really could use a little rain around here

Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly
Appearances can be deceptive.

This ain't my first rodeo
I've been around awhile

He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under the porch
Not the most handsome of men

They ate supper before they said grace
Living in sin

Time to paint your butt white and run with the antelope
Stop arguing and do as you're told

As full of wind as a corn-eating horse
Rather prone to boasting

You can put your boots in the oven, but that don't make em biscuits
You can say whatever you want about something, but that doesn't change what it is

That's a fur piece.
It'll take you awhile to get there

Don't worry 'bout the mule son, just load the wagon
just do your part and I'll do mine

Don't call him a cowboy, till you've seen him ride
Don't judge a book by its cover

She's been rode hard and put away wet
refers to an unnattractive, hard-looking woman

toad choker
a heavy rain

frog strangler
also a heavy rain

finer than frog hair
use anywhere you might use the word "fine"

rarer than hen's teeth
pretty darn rare

to spill, as in "I jes' tumped over mah beer"

Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Sprite, Mountain Dew, Big Red, etc.

Some Texas Wisdom

  1. Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.
  2. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back in.
  3. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
  4. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
  5. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
  6. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
  7. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
  8. Don't squat with your spurs on.
  9. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep
  10. Always drink upstream from the herd.
  11. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
  12. There are 3 kinds of people: The ones that learn by reading, the few who learn by observation, and the rest of them who have to touch the fire to see for themselves if it's really hot.