;-)

Work rules and Observations!

  1. The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time. The last 10% takes the other 90%
  2. If you cant get your work done in 24 hours , work nights
  3. A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants
  4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you are irreplaceable , you can't be promoted
  5. It doesn't matter what you do. It only matters what you say you have done and what you are going to do

  6. The more crap you put up with , the more crap you are going to get
  7. Never ask 2 questions in business letter. The reply will discuss the one in which you are least interested and say nothing about the other
  8. When the bosses talk about improving the quality, they never talk about themselves
  9. Mother said there would be days like this but she never said there'd be so many.
  10. Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back

  11. Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous"
  12. To err is human - to forgive is not company policy
  13. In case of atomic attack, all work rules will be temporarily suspended
  14. Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing.
  15. Important letters which contain no errors will develop errors in the mail

  16. The last person who quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything until the next person quits or is fired
  17. If you are good , you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it
  18. People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't
  19. If it wasn't for the last minute , nothing would get done
  20. You will always get the greatest recognition for doing the job you least like

  21. No one gets sick on Wednesdays
  22. Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules
  23. Following the rules won't get the job done
  24. Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives
  25. An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job

  26. Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse
  27. The employee who has performed his/her labors faithfully and without fault for five years will be given an increase of five cents per day in his pay provided profits permit it.
  28. All vacations and holidays present problems except for one's own

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Last Updated: October 30, 2000