You know you're growing older when...
- Your sweetie says "Lets go upstairs and make love, and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"
- Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you"re barefoot.
- A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door nearest your car
- Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
- You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along
- It takes longer to rest than to get tired
- You're cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
- "Getting a little action" means you don't need to take a laxative today.
- "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
- An "all nighter" means not getting up to go to the bathroom
- You realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
- You wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.
A few notes about growing older
- By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
- Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.
- The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.
- It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.