The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners:
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Tatyr: A lecherous Mr. Potato Head.
Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
Burglesque (n): A poorly planned break-in. (See: Watergate)
Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid & an... (infelicitous: American slang for co-worker)
Contratemps: the resentment permanent workers feel toward the fill-in workers.
Vaseball: a game of catch played by children in the living room.
Acme: a generic skin disease.
Doltergeist: a spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your septic tank.
See also Twisted Foreign Expressions.