Yet More Gender Differences
- If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each
other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.
But if Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out for a pint, they will
affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and
- Eating Out
- When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in
$20, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything
smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
- A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor,
a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
man would not be able to identify most of these items.
- A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
- Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
- Dressing Up
- A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
- Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
- Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends and favorite foods and
secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
- Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing.