Football Terminology

In a never-ending effort to attract the unchurched, some churches have considered translating their unfamiliar terminology into familiar football phrases:

• Blocking: Talking endlessly to the pastor at the church door and keeping everyone else from exiting.

• Draft Choice: The decision to sit close to an air conditioning vent.

• End Zone: The pews.

• Extra Point: What you receive when you tell the preacher his sermon was too short.

• Illegal Motion: Leaving before the benediction.

• Interference: Talking during the organ prelude.

• Two-minute Warning: The pastor's wife looking at her watch in full view of the pastor.

• Quarterback Sneak: Sunday School teachers entering the building five minutes after classes began.