If College Students Wrote the Bible

  1. The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning--cold.

  2. The Ten Commandments would actually be only five--double-spaced and written in a large font.

  3. New Edition would be published every two years in order to limit reselling.

  4. Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.

  5. Paul's letter to the Romans would become Paul's email to "abuse@romans.gov"

  6. Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.

  7. The place where the end of the world occurs: Finals, not Armageddon.

  8. Out go the mules, in come the mountain bikes.

  9. Reason why Moses and followers walked in the desert for 40 year: They didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen.

  10. Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, he would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.